Cocktails That Complement World Events.

From a menu sent to WikiLeaks by disgruntled bartenders at the U.N.

Mubarak’s Last Stand (Non-Halal)

1 part Vodka
2 parts Vermouth
Swine (chased through the streets by hired goons & beaten with sticks)
Served over crushed human rights

Sub-Prime Cocktail

1 part Whiskey (hedged with 2 parts Vodka)
2 parts JP Morgan’s Rum
1 fucked global economy quantitively eased in a blender with skyrocketing interest rates
Infinite Credit Default Swaps
Served over Northern Rocks

ConDemNation

A strained coalition of Gordon’s Gin and Tonic water
Liberal Advocaat, reduced over the flame of public opinion
2 manifestos, blended beyond recognition
Unwanted cuts of lemon
Served in a backroom, far, far away from the prying eyes of accountability

The Gulp of Mexico

1 part petroleum
Ideal for beach parties